Now hear this, now hear this! We have a visitor!

Let me guess. You’re here because someone forced you to come here. No?
Because you’re curious? Do you wanna rule the world or show off in front of your friends or … maybe even get laid?

You are at the right place to obtain unbeatable and mesmerizing super memorization powers! Ready, steady? No-go! Easy now… don’t rush, please :)

First things first. Try to quickly remember items from list below, because it’ll be gone in 6,0 seconds! Darn, where is Nicholas Cage when you need him?!
(Actually, the list won’t be gone, you have to pretend like you don’t see it anymore, k?)

GONE IN 6.0 SECONDS LIST

Sunglasses
Mosquito
Miss Piggy
Relativity
Tractor
Violin
Bumble bee

Stop looking at the list!
6,0 seconds are gone!

Before I reveal you all the secrets of the GettinStuffIntoMemoryToGetLaid, you have to meet the good, the bad and the ugly. Everyone, meet the good – brainmachine, the bad – memory and the ugly – training.

The Good – Brainmachine

I’m quite sure you think I’ll say your brainmachine is like a machine, but with brain. Doh! Surprise!
I won’t! Because it’s not! Brainmachine (anonymous) is like a memory factory, where memories are produced in three stages: acquire, store, use. If you want to memorize “something”, first you have acquire this “something”, right? And if you want to use it later, you have to store it. Somehow. As simple as 1,2,3.

Every factory needs a heavy worker or two — in our case three muscular, handsome… wait,wait, wait! Wrong movie. Anyways, if you want to acquire successfully, you have to pay attention! Pay attention! NOW! In next step try to relate things to stuff you already know. Isn’t this just like…? YES! Isn’t she just like…? YUP, SHE IS! And one more thing… Gals and dudes, please, get emotional while storing’n’organizing stuff into/in your head! #$%&”!!! You will remember it much easier. Really. Trust me … trust me or I’ll cry you a river! ;-(

Until now you’ve met three heavy workers: attention, associations and emotions! It’s time to meet the last one. Repetition. Use the stuff you learned as often as possible. Again. And again. And then again!

So far so good.

The Bad – Memory

Do you (at least sometimes) perceive your memory as a chunk of cheese and you can’t locate the darn mouse making extra holes in it? I have great news for you, folks! I can help you exterminate this  f***ing mouse! :lol: However, there are some nifty facts about the memory, if you’re still curious …

Shorties’n’Longies

Did you know people can be divided into Shorties and Longies? Before you get too excited – NO, it has nothing to do with your height or with the length of Mr. Johnson. Shorties are people with the memorization capacity of a goldfish. They can remember things for few seconds or in maybe even minutes … but then … it’s all gone. People borrowing things from you (esp. money) are definitely shorties. One minute you lend them something, next minute they don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

On the other hand, person remembering something for a looooong (and I mean loooooooooong) period of time — like elephants do, is definitely a Longie. There is a 99% chance, that your spouse (or girl or best friend) is a longie. You don’t believe me, do you? Try to forget her birthday or an important anniversary. I can guarantee you she will remember every single detail, every single word you said that day and she won’t hesitate to use this memory against you when you’ll least expect it — even after 20 years! No, you won’t see it coming.Take my advice, be careful with Longies, k?

Lefties’n’Righties

As if life wasn’t complicated enough, people can be further divided into Lefties and Righties. Do you recall the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Here we can talk about Dr. Ratio and Mr. Emotio(n). A Leftie or Dr. Ratio has no problems remembering facts and numbers. He will be able to memorize the pin code of your credit card (or the number of that secret bank account of yours) without special effort. He is very fond of logic, all kinds of lists and he’s probably the honorary member of some weird club named SequencesRule!

Mr. Emotion(n), definitely a Rightie, is quite the opposite. He likes imagination, colors, chaos and all the pretty pictures — especially in Playboy or Hustler. For Mr. Emotion(n) it is no biggie to remember faces, specially if they belong to blonds, brunettes… if you know what I mean. :lol:

Let me ask you something. Which one are you? None of them? You say you can’t remember numbers nor faces? Ouch, you’re in big trouble.

Come back to read about the ugly, it’s for your own sake.

… to be continued …